Saturday, December 14, 2013

Popcorn, Indiana

The following is a tale of the most annoying, (and to the average human) most unnecessary quest to satisfy my sweet tooth:

A few weeks ago, I went to a movie party at a friend’s house where an array of random foods were made available such as spaghetti and tomato sauce, peanut butter Oreos, and apple ale.  But the one snack that really caught my attention was a bag of Indiana, Popcorn Drizzled Cinnamon Sugar Kettlecorn.  Oh…my…gosh.  If magic had a taste, this would be it.  It wasn’t too sweet, it didn’t get stuck in my teeth, and it was just divine.  After about the third handful, I noticed melted drizzled cinnamon sugar in my hands.  At this point I was so hooked that I shamelessly licked it off.  Judge me. I don’t care.  It was so good.

Days went by and I thought about this kettle corn.  I searched and searched and it was nowhere to be found.  I even looked online and there were a only a select few places that I could get it from but I don’t care how delicious something is, I refuse to pay $9 shipping and handling for a $3 bag of popcorn.  I’m a fat ass not a lunatic.  So I texted my friend to ask him where he bought it and he simply said, “The deli down the street”.  Ughhh. Traveling to Manhattan (from Long Island) for a small bag of food is just as dumb as paying a shipping and handling fee that is three times the product. 

Fortunately, I’m not a quitter. I kept searching and I saw an article online about how someone bought a bag at Whole Foods.  Eureka!  There was a Whole Foods less than ten minutes from my house.  I arrived at the store, fingers crossed, and right at the entrance…various flavors of Popcorn, Indiana.  The treasure hunt was over.  However, there was a catch.  They didn’t have the Drizzled Cinnamon Sugar.  As a tear rolled down my face, I grabbed a bag of Drizzled Black & White Kettlecorn and a bag of White Fudge Hot Cinnamon Drizzlecorn as it was advertised as 2 for $6.  I also grabbed a larger bag of Aged White Cheddar popcorn.  I reached the register and lo and behold, another problem.  It didn’t ring up as 2 for $6.  One of them rang up as $4.19.  The cashier then calls what I can only assume was a manager and asks her and she said that if I don’t buy two of the same flavor then it is not 2 for $6.  I never heard of such a thing in the history of grocery shopping-dom.  Two of the same kind?  I knew she was lying and just didn’t want to help a customer because she refused to come read the sign.  I gave up and just bought the bags at the incorrect price because at this point I just wanted this to be over.  I mean its popcorn, not a one night stand with Brad Pitt for goodness sake. 
I went home thinking the hot cinnamon would be disgusting just to put the icing on this crap mission.  But it was fantastic.  Even better than the cinnamon sugar.  It surprised me because I actually hate those Red Hots cinnamon candies.  I think it was because the sweetness of the white fudge balanced the spicy cinnamon. 
As for the Drizzled Black & White, absolutely marvelous.  But that’s a no brainer.  It’s chocolate!
I was so pleased.  It was all worth it.  I can’t wait to try the rest of the flavors especially the Chocolate Peanut Butter Kettlecorn.

No comments:

Post a Comment